How do you tell a child when their parent doesn’t want to be involved with them any longer…?
About three years ago my wife and I got into an argument, then a fight, then we split. A certain individual “woo’d” my wife and one thing after another my wife became pregnant. After finding this out, she found out that he was a Unregistered Sex Offender. After everything was said and done, he ran, my wife was pregnant, and I couldn’t let a child feel the repercussions of the actions of my wife and I’s argument and my wife and this other individuals “passion”. Thus my 4th baby, Ciera.
About two years after she was born my wife and I became distant and again split, he “found” her, and they moved in together with my kids. I tried to look past his past and move on with a girl I was dating. Slowly I started to realize (because I had left this time) that it wasn’t right. I was also paying her and his bills for my kids sake….so I put my foot down and stopped “If you’re going to be with him, I’m not doing this”. I broke up with the girl I was seeing and decided to get my own place.
Slowly afterwards he decided that he couldn’t let her live like this and the kids live like this and decided to leave. My wife had moved into a shelter with the kids and slowly began getting back in contact with me, making amends and wanting the best, so she moved herself and our 5 kids (we had another one after Ciera) into my one bedroom apartment.
After awhile she expressed that she was confused, she loved him, yet wants the kids to be with me, and loves me…just can’t trust me after I left for another girl (understandable) and that she wanted to be by herself to get her life straightened out. I didn’t agree, but I helped, getting her a place to stay paying her deposits, etc…and so she moved out.
After she moved out (one week after) she told me that she decided to be back with this guy (He was in jail at the time for failure to register as a sex offender). I wasn’t happy with this in the least and told her “You want to be with him, he can pay your bills”….long story short…she couldn’t manage that and placed our children in CPS care and disappeared.
After I found out about this I started making arrangements with CPS to retrieve my kids. Seeing my effort my wife decided that she wanted to be back with our family and wanted to move in with me and I allowed it. Slowly we worked on things, visitation, getting a house, setting up our life anew. Things were looking perfect except our landlord didn’t tell us everything about the house. Discovering these new things we asked for an extension of the timeline so that we could perfect the house.
Sept 22nd - Wifes (ex)boyfriend gets outa jail
Sept 25th - CPS states extension can’t be approved and CPS is taking custody of children.
Sept 25th - Wife states she can’t be in house knowing that kids aren’t coming back as soon as proposed. Doesn’t come back till 10:30 at night.
Sept 26th - Wife starts argument at 2:00, goes for walk, never comes back.
Sept 27th - During visitation with my 3 and 2 year old our old CPS worker finds me requesting wife get some clothes, etc. After speaking with sponsor of wife’s (ex)boyfriend he follows them, finds my wife and her (ex)boyfriend together after CPS worker drops her off.
Sept 28th - Quiet
Sept 29th (today) - Getting my hair cut and dyed I see him and her today. I confront her telling her that the kids and me miss her and that CPS is going to cut her parental rights for being with him. “Whatever I’m done” is the response I get.
Considering everything that has been said…my 6 year old I get to talk to all the time continuously ask for her mom….”She’s busy”, “She went out”, “She’s not here” is usually my responses…. tommorrow I’m going to tell her that her mom left. How do you tell a child their mother doesn’t want them?
How do you tell a child this happy
The woman who gave birth to her doesn’t want her to be happy anymore? I’m afraid this will devastate my daughter. I can deal with not having my wife. I can deal with not having her around….I can even deal with not having my kids around, but the sheer complexity of that emotional disconnect is the most painful.
I have to make it perfect though, I have an 8, 3, 2, and 8 month old I have to do this all with on Monday.
